[George hopes one of them is the washing up, and he'd say that if he weren't completely floored by the sheer...scandal of what Mitchell has just said.]
Talking animals creep you out. So have you read The Wind in the Willows? Come on, Mitchell, that's - that's mandatory reading, and if you haven't read it I am going to - take drastic measures.
Drastic measures, what, you're going t' prop my eyes open with toothpicks and force me to read? No, George, I've not read The Wind in the bloody Willows, because it's full of talking animals and I'm pretty sure it's targeted at children.
[He sinks back against the sofa, a bit sulky.]
And would you stop looking at me like that, like I've just told you I lost your firstborn--it's a book, George, and it's not even a very good one.
[Extremely Disappointed Looks are a dear commodity; the more they are used, the less effective they become, and so George uses them only when completely warranted. This is a time when they are warranted, and so George fixes his friend with a Very Disappointed Look.]
I think it is a pity indeed that you are willing to simply write off excellent works of literature that have a great deal to say about the human condition for no reason other than you think that they are not good. Or for children. Or because you think that anthropomorphized animals are distasteful - [And, all right, this is a very low blow, but it's for a good cause - he gives Mitchell a Somewhat Wounded Look.]
[It's been over a hundred years since he's suffered the disapproving look of a schoolteacher or a priest or a parent, but the effect is very much the same. Amazing, how you can go off and live a life of debauchery and murder and come out on the other side still squirming under looks like this. More than a little unfair.]
Oh, come off-- now that is unfair! You're trying t' make me feel sorry for you, when you're not an anthropomorphized anything, you're just pathetic. I'm not falling for this, I'm not going to let you make up a reading list for me--I don't want to read about talking animals, no matter what the hell they've got t' say about the human condition, because they shouldn't be saying anything at all.
[And he looks away, to avoid any further sufferances of that Disappointed Look. It really is unfair.]
Maybe if they do a decent film of it, then I'll watch that. Unless it's freakishly animated.
[The Wounded Look transitions into the Disapproving Look - a slight variation of the Disappointed Look, with a bit less sorrow and a bit more firmness. An exact copy, if he was not mistaken, of his rabbi's look when he admitted that he wasn't going to go in for Talmudic studies at university.]
Never mind, of course, that it'll take you no more than an hour and a half to read it. That's time much better spent catching yet another replay of The Runaway Bride on the telly. Julia Roberts would absolutely be missing you otherwise.
[And that look would be absolutely effective, if it wasn't met with one of absolute incredulity in return.]
I can't read a book in an hour and a half! And--and!-- I don't even like Runaway Bride all that much, you know I'm a Pretty Woman sort of man. Mystic Pizza. Early Julia Roberts--honestly, it's like maybe you don't know me at all.
[He holds up thumb and forefinger to demonstrate.]
This long. And come off it, you'll still stop and watch if they're showing it, so don't act like you're using your time judiciously. I promise, an hour and a half, no more.
[STILL NOT SURE IF THIS IS WORTH IT so... there's a short silence, where he stares at George, as if trying to either work out how much he trusts that claim of honor, or perhaps suss out if the promised peace to come is going to be worth reading this book...]
I can't believe I'm saying this, but-- [A resigned sigh!] Oh, fine, yeah, whatever, get me a copy of the bloody book and I'll read it. Only so that you shut up and keep your lists and your talking animals to yourself.
[He sits up, hastily, all but jumping to his feet to grab George's arm--]
No, that's-- that's all right. I wouldn't start on it now anyways, I've-- [thinking quickly--!] --because we-- we're planning Annie's party now. Don't tell me you're trying t' get out of that!
[Mitchell, damn him, does manage to urge George back down into his seat. He grumbles:]
At least I'm a bit more subtle than you avoiding this topic.
[But still - ]
Well, that's a partial guest list, at least. Any suggestions on what we should do? Movies? Cluedo? [A moment later - ] No, if we're inviting ghosts, that'd set them off, wouldn't it.
[Subtlety doesn't matter, all that matters is that he did avoid it. Well done, Mitchell. He relaxes back onto the sofa, momentarily too pleased with himself to really listen to George.
But, right, if he's going to avoid the topic of books, he has to keep the conversation going--]
Sorry-- I thought this was Annie's party, but clearly you're planning a party for a seven-year-old. Do people actually plan activities for parties? I thought you just sort of put out crisps and cakes and little pizzas and things and said, hey, it's a party, and everyone-- you know-- mingled.
That's not a party. That's a - a - get-together. Completely different.
[But that's said mostly to save face, because, yeah, that's generally what parties consist of. George never really was much of one for throwing parties; he was more the one attending. Or...not attending, as the case might have been. But not attending for a good cause, without question.
(The "good cause" was, generally speaking, the Doctor Who Christmas special.)]
But if parties are so straightforward, then it seems like we don't have to plan at all. And we can get back to talking about literature.
[Mitchell sits up again, sharply, and oh my God, that is exactly the turn that this conversation should not take, didn't he just escape that conversation]
Nooo, no, you know-- I think you're right, I think planning is an excellent idea. Cluedo! We just have t' take care to invite the goth-y ghosts, the ones who like talking about their gory details, and, uh-- well, there's wink murder, and the one with the clues on the cards on your forehead, blind man's bluff--
It's not death-related, it's not as if we're making little grave cakes or anything morbid like that-- anyway, most ghosts aren't so sensitive about it, it's just a fact of life for them. Er, unlife. Whatever.
Anyway, we are limited in our options, we only own Cluedo. And Monopoly, but you know my feelings on Monopoly.
I don't hate the game because of financial planning, I hate it because the game itself is shit. Hungry capitalism at its finest, all bourgeoisie-- and because someone always buys up all of the decent property and constructs fifteen hotels on every space and gets smug and makes unhelpful comments whenever he gets half the chance.
They're not unhelpful. [But though his tone is outraged, his grin is absolutely self-satisfied.] You only think they're unhelpful because you're too busy channeling Engels to play.
But really, it's all right. It's not shameful, not to be as good as I am. Not many people are, after all.
In what world is bet you're sorry you landed there now a helpful comment? Or slum lord, remember the slum lord incident?
[Mildly disgusted, he shakes his head.]
This is why no one wants t' play games with you, George. Just so you know. This, right here, and then you reveal you've some sort of-- junior Monopoly championship title to your name. Like that's at all normal or enviable.
Look, you didn't ask about Scrabble, Mitchell, so not telling you about that wasn't a lie. And it's quite enviable, you know, I had my picture in the paper and everything.
[George again tries to seem perfectly restrained and proper, but it's easy enough to tell that he's quite pleased about this line of conversation. Not that he's a braggart - All right, perhaps he's a bit of a braggart.]
Anyway, you oughtn't be so bitter. Annie and I acknowledged the fact that you don't enjoy playing the perfectly necessary role of slum lord, so we don't make you play any longer, do we?
[A bit of a braggart actually goes right to the top of the list of George Traits, but really only a braggart on things that most people--normal people--could care less about, Scrabble being one of those things. The title makes George good for crossword help, provided he's kept from taking over the whole thing and trying to do it in ink. The title is bad for just about every other reason, but it would be a low blow to say something about achievements to date and how photos in the papers from when you were fifteen years of age doesn't count for very much when you've aged significantly beyond that--and so Mitchell keeps that comment to himself, because he really is a good friend (who doesn't want to deal with an irritable George calling him out for that low blow).]
No, yeah, you don't, and it's really easy to ignore the two of you when you set up the board and sigh about how you wish there were just one other person t' play, wouldn't that be nice-- yeah, that's not manipulative or distracting at all.
Perhaps Nina will be your slum lord for you. Let's ask her when she comes round.
You're joking, of course. Have you met Nina? Do you think for a moment she would lose at Monopoly? She's got a killer instinct.
[That, though, is said with fondness rather than with any sort of disapproval or even with fear. He's disgustingly, foully, sugary proud of his Nina, and even loves her taunts when they're playing strip poker and he's down to his boxers and she's still got just about anything.
He considers telling Mitchell about that one...but no, best not to make him madly jealous. As he would be.]
Well, all right, what about charades? At the party. We could be on the same team and clean up.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
carisma_sensei
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 02:46 pm (UTC)Talking animals creep you out. So have you read The Wind in the Willows? Come on, Mitchell, that's - that's mandatory reading, and if you haven't read it I am going to - take drastic measures.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 03:35 pm (UTC)[He sinks back against the sofa, a bit sulky.]
And would you stop looking at me like that, like I've just told you I lost your firstborn--it's a book, George, and it's not even a very good one.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 03:46 pm (UTC)[Extremely Disappointed Looks are a dear commodity; the more they are used, the less effective they become, and so George uses them only when completely warranted. This is a time when they are warranted, and so George fixes his friend with a Very Disappointed Look.]
I think it is a pity indeed that you are willing to simply write off excellent works of literature that have a great deal to say about the human condition for no reason other than you think that they are not good. Or for children. Or because you think that anthropomorphized animals are distasteful - [And, all right, this is a very low blow, but it's for a good cause - he gives Mitchell a Somewhat Wounded Look.]
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 04:45 pm (UTC)Oh, come off-- now that is unfair! You're trying t' make me feel sorry for you, when you're not an anthropomorphized anything, you're just pathetic. I'm not falling for this, I'm not going to let you make up a reading list for me--I don't want to read about talking animals, no matter what the hell they've got t' say about the human condition, because they shouldn't be saying anything at all.
[And he looks away, to avoid any further sufferances of that Disappointed Look. It really is unfair.]
Maybe if they do a decent film of it, then I'll watch that. Unless it's freakishly animated.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 04:56 pm (UTC)[The Wounded Look transitions into the Disapproving Look - a slight variation of the Disappointed Look, with a bit less sorrow and a bit more firmness. An exact copy, if he was not mistaken, of his rabbi's look when he admitted that he wasn't going to go in for Talmudic studies at university.]
Never mind, of course, that it'll take you no more than an hour and a half to read it. That's time much better spent catching yet another replay of The Runaway Bride on the telly. Julia Roberts would absolutely be missing you otherwise.
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Date: 2013-05-13 06:50 pm (UTC)I can't read a book in an hour and a half! And--and!-- I don't even like Runaway Bride all that much, you know I'm a Pretty Woman sort of man. Mystic Pizza. Early Julia Roberts--honestly, it's like maybe you don't know me at all.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 07:22 pm (UTC)[He holds up thumb and forefinger to demonstrate.]
This long. And come off it, you'll still stop and watch if they're showing it, so don't act like you're using your time judiciously. I promise, an hour and a half, no more.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 08:23 pm (UTC)[He pinches at the bridge of his nose with a huge sigh.]
Will you leave off of me reading if I agree to this one single book.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 08:30 pm (UTC)[He raises his hand.]
I give my word of honor.
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Date: 2013-05-13 08:58 pm (UTC)I can't believe I'm saying this, but-- [A resigned sigh!] Oh, fine, yeah, whatever, get me a copy of the bloody book and I'll read it. Only so that you shut up and keep your lists and your talking animals to yourself.
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Date: 2013-05-13 09:03 pm (UTC)Brilliant. Might actually have a copy in my room - you're going to love it, I'm sure of that. I can go and get it now -
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Date: 2013-05-13 10:10 pm (UTC)[He sits up, hastily, all but jumping to his feet to grab George's arm--]
No, that's-- that's all right. I wouldn't start on it now anyways, I've-- [thinking quickly--!] --because we-- we're planning Annie's party now. Don't tell me you're trying t' get out of that!
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 11:01 pm (UTC)At least I'm a bit more subtle than you avoiding this topic.
[But still - ]
Well, that's a partial guest list, at least. Any suggestions on what we should do? Movies? Cluedo? [A moment later - ] No, if we're inviting ghosts, that'd set them off, wouldn't it.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 12:41 am (UTC)But, right, if he's going to avoid the topic of books, he has to keep the conversation going--]
Sorry-- I thought this was Annie's party, but clearly you're planning a party for a seven-year-old. Do people actually plan activities for parties? I thought you just sort of put out crisps and cakes and little pizzas and things and said, hey, it's a party, and everyone-- you know-- mingled.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 02:01 am (UTC)[But that's said mostly to save face, because, yeah, that's generally what parties consist of. George never really was much of one for throwing parties; he was more the one attending. Or...not attending, as the case might have been. But not attending for a good cause, without question.
(The "good cause" was, generally speaking, the Doctor Who Christmas special.)]
But if parties are so straightforward, then it seems like we don't have to plan at all. And we can get back to talking about literature.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 05:59 am (UTC)[Mitchell sits up again, sharply, and oh my God, that is exactly the turn that this conversation should not take, didn't he just escape that conversation]
Nooo, no, you know-- I think you're right, I think planning is an excellent idea. Cluedo! We just have t' take care to invite the goth-y ghosts, the ones who like talking about their gory details, and, uh-- well, there's wink murder, and the one with the clues on the cards on your forehead, blind man's bluff--
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 03:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 03:51 pm (UTC)It's not death-related, it's not as if we're making little grave cakes or anything morbid like that-- anyway, most ghosts aren't so sensitive about it, it's just a fact of life for them. Er, unlife. Whatever.
Anyway, we are limited in our options, we only own Cluedo. And Monopoly, but you know my feelings on Monopoly.
fuck monopoly
Date: 2013-05-14 03:58 pm (UTC)Monopoly is not to blame for your inability to plan financially, you know.
I put that in there just for you c:
Date: 2013-05-14 04:25 pm (UTC)[And just who could that be....]
I knew it
Date: 2013-05-14 04:39 pm (UTC)But really, it's all right. It's not shameful, not to be as good as I am. Not many people are, after all.
someday we'll play monopoly and you'll have a good time
Date: 2013-05-14 06:08 pm (UTC)[Mildly disgusted, he shakes his head.]
This is why no one wants t' play games with you, George. Just so you know. This, right here, and then you reveal you've some sort of-- junior Monopoly championship title to your name. Like that's at all normal or enviable.
Girl I don't like spending money in REAL LIFE on REAL THINGS why would I do it for fun
Date: 2013-05-14 06:22 pm (UTC)[George again tries to seem perfectly restrained and proper, but it's easy enough to tell that he's quite pleased about this line of conversation. Not that he's a braggart - All right, perhaps he's a bit of a braggart.]
Anyway, you oughtn't be so bitter. Annie and I acknowledged the fact that you don't enjoy playing the perfectly necessary role of slum lord, so we don't make you play any longer, do we?
because it isn't real money and at the end everyone throws it in the air and cheers like it's 1999!
Date: 2013-05-14 06:48 pm (UTC)No, yeah, you don't, and it's really easy to ignore the two of you when you set up the board and sigh about how you wish there were just one other person t' play, wouldn't that be nice-- yeah, that's not manipulative or distracting at all.
Perhaps Nina will be your slum lord for you. Let's ask her when she comes round.
I hated 1999
Date: 2013-05-14 09:46 pm (UTC)[That, though, is said with fondness rather than with any sort of disapproval or even with fear. He's disgustingly, foully, sugary proud of his Nina, and even loves her taunts when they're playing strip poker and he's down to his boxers and she's still got just about anything.
He considers telling Mitchell about that one...but no, best not to make him madly jealous. As he would be.]
Well, all right, what about charades? At the party. We could be on the same team and clean up.
you are such a downer.......
From:I hate downers
From:I hate you.
From:You're the only thing I love
From:.......awwwww well okay :>
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