[And even though there's some thread of George that wants to keep on with it, some little angry bit that wants to not let it out of his teeth, he's gotten better lately at ignoring that part of him. And Mitchell is de-escalating the whole thing, and George would be an ass indeed to ignore that, so instead of snapping and snarling he goes for a disapproving:]
Who's Betty Friedan? Honestly, Mitchell, I know you don't read books, but that's simply inexcusable - Betty Friedan. Author of The Feminine Mystique. Seminal work of feminism. You're not serious.
[This time, when Mitchell raises his eyebrows, it's more of a I-can't-believe-the-words-that-are-coming-out-of-your-mouth sort of expression.]
Why would I know-- look, The Feminine Mystique sounds like the name of some sort of lady's hygiene wash, I'd read those words and my brain would immediately shut down.
In fact none of us are. In this room. There are not ladies in this room. As I am in fact a man. A man of some manliness. Thank you.
[He gives a great big scoff, leaning back in a manly fashion to show off his manly shoulders, and this is all ruined when he adds:]
And that? That is not even about feminism, Mitchell, that's just something you should read. Honestly, how many books have you even read? Just a count. How many.
[It's too bad that he's asked a direct question, because he has a great deal to say on the manliness of that posing George is doing.]
All right, first off, how is it not about feminism, it's got feminine in the title. It's about feminism. Secondly, how should I know how many books I've read--I've been around for a long time, all right, those sorts of counts aren't--
[But now he's thinking about. How many books? Films, he's seen loads of films, too many to count, but books...]
Look, I didn't really sit about reading books much. Sorry. Other things came up. How many books have you read, could you give me an exact number, if I asked for it?
I could give you an estimate. In spite of the fact that it is a large number.
[All right, now he's narrowing his eyes. Mitchell is his best mate, no question about that, but if you live as long as he has surely you should end up reading books. A great many of them.]
Right, let's go through - have you read the Narnia books?
No, I haven't read the Narnia books. Talking animals? Creeps me out.
[And then, before another title can be mentioned:]
Look, we aren't actually going t' go through some arbitrary reading list, book by book, just to satisfy your curiosity, are we, because I can tell you right now, George, I can think of about six thousand other things I'd rather be doing. Not all of them pleasant.
[George hopes one of them is the washing up, and he'd say that if he weren't completely floored by the sheer...scandal of what Mitchell has just said.]
Talking animals creep you out. So have you read The Wind in the Willows? Come on, Mitchell, that's - that's mandatory reading, and if you haven't read it I am going to - take drastic measures.
Drastic measures, what, you're going t' prop my eyes open with toothpicks and force me to read? No, George, I've not read The Wind in the bloody Willows, because it's full of talking animals and I'm pretty sure it's targeted at children.
[He sinks back against the sofa, a bit sulky.]
And would you stop looking at me like that, like I've just told you I lost your firstborn--it's a book, George, and it's not even a very good one.
[Extremely Disappointed Looks are a dear commodity; the more they are used, the less effective they become, and so George uses them only when completely warranted. This is a time when they are warranted, and so George fixes his friend with a Very Disappointed Look.]
I think it is a pity indeed that you are willing to simply write off excellent works of literature that have a great deal to say about the human condition for no reason other than you think that they are not good. Or for children. Or because you think that anthropomorphized animals are distasteful - [And, all right, this is a very low blow, but it's for a good cause - he gives Mitchell a Somewhat Wounded Look.]
[It's been over a hundred years since he's suffered the disapproving look of a schoolteacher or a priest or a parent, but the effect is very much the same. Amazing, how you can go off and live a life of debauchery and murder and come out on the other side still squirming under looks like this. More than a little unfair.]
Oh, come off-- now that is unfair! You're trying t' make me feel sorry for you, when you're not an anthropomorphized anything, you're just pathetic. I'm not falling for this, I'm not going to let you make up a reading list for me--I don't want to read about talking animals, no matter what the hell they've got t' say about the human condition, because they shouldn't be saying anything at all.
[And he looks away, to avoid any further sufferances of that Disappointed Look. It really is unfair.]
Maybe if they do a decent film of it, then I'll watch that. Unless it's freakishly animated.
[The Wounded Look transitions into the Disapproving Look - a slight variation of the Disappointed Look, with a bit less sorrow and a bit more firmness. An exact copy, if he was not mistaken, of his rabbi's look when he admitted that he wasn't going to go in for Talmudic studies at university.]
Never mind, of course, that it'll take you no more than an hour and a half to read it. That's time much better spent catching yet another replay of The Runaway Bride on the telly. Julia Roberts would absolutely be missing you otherwise.
[And that look would be absolutely effective, if it wasn't met with one of absolute incredulity in return.]
I can't read a book in an hour and a half! And--and!-- I don't even like Runaway Bride all that much, you know I'm a Pretty Woman sort of man. Mystic Pizza. Early Julia Roberts--honestly, it's like maybe you don't know me at all.
[He holds up thumb and forefinger to demonstrate.]
This long. And come off it, you'll still stop and watch if they're showing it, so don't act like you're using your time judiciously. I promise, an hour and a half, no more.
[STILL NOT SURE IF THIS IS WORTH IT so... there's a short silence, where he stares at George, as if trying to either work out how much he trusts that claim of honor, or perhaps suss out if the promised peace to come is going to be worth reading this book...]
I can't believe I'm saying this, but-- [A resigned sigh!] Oh, fine, yeah, whatever, get me a copy of the bloody book and I'll read it. Only so that you shut up and keep your lists and your talking animals to yourself.
[He sits up, hastily, all but jumping to his feet to grab George's arm--]
No, that's-- that's all right. I wouldn't start on it now anyways, I've-- [thinking quickly--!] --because we-- we're planning Annie's party now. Don't tell me you're trying t' get out of that!
[Mitchell, damn him, does manage to urge George back down into his seat. He grumbles:]
At least I'm a bit more subtle than you avoiding this topic.
[But still - ]
Well, that's a partial guest list, at least. Any suggestions on what we should do? Movies? Cluedo? [A moment later - ] No, if we're inviting ghosts, that'd set them off, wouldn't it.
[Subtlety doesn't matter, all that matters is that he did avoid it. Well done, Mitchell. He relaxes back onto the sofa, momentarily too pleased with himself to really listen to George.
But, right, if he's going to avoid the topic of books, he has to keep the conversation going--]
Sorry-- I thought this was Annie's party, but clearly you're planning a party for a seven-year-old. Do people actually plan activities for parties? I thought you just sort of put out crisps and cakes and little pizzas and things and said, hey, it's a party, and everyone-- you know-- mingled.
That's not a party. That's a - a - get-together. Completely different.
[But that's said mostly to save face, because, yeah, that's generally what parties consist of. George never really was much of one for throwing parties; he was more the one attending. Or...not attending, as the case might have been. But not attending for a good cause, without question.
(The "good cause" was, generally speaking, the Doctor Who Christmas special.)]
But if parties are so straightforward, then it seems like we don't have to plan at all. And we can get back to talking about literature.
[Mitchell sits up again, sharply, and oh my God, that is exactly the turn that this conversation should not take, didn't he just escape that conversation]
Nooo, no, you know-- I think you're right, I think planning is an excellent idea. Cluedo! We just have t' take care to invite the goth-y ghosts, the ones who like talking about their gory details, and, uh-- well, there's wink murder, and the one with the clues on the cards on your forehead, blind man's bluff--
It's not death-related, it's not as if we're making little grave cakes or anything morbid like that-- anyway, most ghosts aren't so sensitive about it, it's just a fact of life for them. Er, unlife. Whatever.
Anyway, we are limited in our options, we only own Cluedo. And Monopoly, but you know my feelings on Monopoly.
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carisma_sensei
Ummmmm NO YOU DID NOT do you have little tea-pods
Date: 2013-05-10 05:28 pm (UTC)Who's Betty Friedan? Honestly, Mitchell, I know you don't read books, but that's simply inexcusable - Betty Friedan. Author of The Feminine Mystique. Seminal work of feminism. You're not serious.
only coffee of course but I would get teapods for you, meine kleine teapod
Date: 2013-05-10 07:03 pm (UTC)Why would I know-- look, The Feminine Mystique sounds like the name of some sort of lady's hygiene wash, I'd read those words and my brain would immediately shut down.
Not all of us are ladies, George.
AWWWWWW I will make the hell out of those teapods and drink them staring at you lovingly
Date: 2013-05-11 04:08 am (UTC)[He gives a great big scoff, leaning back in a manly fashion to show off his manly shoulders, and this is all ruined when he adds:]
And that? That is not even about feminism, Mitchell, that's just something you should read. Honestly, how many books have you even read? Just a count. How many.
that's right you will!!!
Date: 2013-05-11 05:18 pm (UTC)[It's too bad that he's asked a direct question, because he has a great deal to say on the manliness of that posing George is doing.]
All right, first off, how is it not about feminism, it's got feminine in the title. It's about feminism. Secondly, how should I know how many books I've read--I've been around for a long time, all right, those sorts of counts aren't--
[But now he's thinking about. How many books? Films, he's seen loads of films, too many to count, but books...]
Look, I didn't really sit about reading books much. Sorry. Other things came up. How many books have you read, could you give me an exact number, if I asked for it?
no subject
Date: 2013-05-11 07:33 pm (UTC)[All right, now he's narrowing his eyes. Mitchell is his best mate, no question about that, but if you live as long as he has surely you should end up reading books. A great many of them.]
Right, let's go through - have you read the Narnia books?
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 02:22 pm (UTC)[And then, before another title can be mentioned:]
Look, we aren't actually going t' go through some arbitrary reading list, book by book, just to satisfy your curiosity, are we, because I can tell you right now, George, I can think of about six thousand other things I'd rather be doing. Not all of them pleasant.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 02:46 pm (UTC)Talking animals creep you out. So have you read The Wind in the Willows? Come on, Mitchell, that's - that's mandatory reading, and if you haven't read it I am going to - take drastic measures.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 03:35 pm (UTC)[He sinks back against the sofa, a bit sulky.]
And would you stop looking at me like that, like I've just told you I lost your firstborn--it's a book, George, and it's not even a very good one.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 03:46 pm (UTC)[Extremely Disappointed Looks are a dear commodity; the more they are used, the less effective they become, and so George uses them only when completely warranted. This is a time when they are warranted, and so George fixes his friend with a Very Disappointed Look.]
I think it is a pity indeed that you are willing to simply write off excellent works of literature that have a great deal to say about the human condition for no reason other than you think that they are not good. Or for children. Or because you think that anthropomorphized animals are distasteful - [And, all right, this is a very low blow, but it's for a good cause - he gives Mitchell a Somewhat Wounded Look.]
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 04:45 pm (UTC)Oh, come off-- now that is unfair! You're trying t' make me feel sorry for you, when you're not an anthropomorphized anything, you're just pathetic. I'm not falling for this, I'm not going to let you make up a reading list for me--I don't want to read about talking animals, no matter what the hell they've got t' say about the human condition, because they shouldn't be saying anything at all.
[And he looks away, to avoid any further sufferances of that Disappointed Look. It really is unfair.]
Maybe if they do a decent film of it, then I'll watch that. Unless it's freakishly animated.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 04:56 pm (UTC)[The Wounded Look transitions into the Disapproving Look - a slight variation of the Disappointed Look, with a bit less sorrow and a bit more firmness. An exact copy, if he was not mistaken, of his rabbi's look when he admitted that he wasn't going to go in for Talmudic studies at university.]
Never mind, of course, that it'll take you no more than an hour and a half to read it. That's time much better spent catching yet another replay of The Runaway Bride on the telly. Julia Roberts would absolutely be missing you otherwise.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 06:50 pm (UTC)I can't read a book in an hour and a half! And--and!-- I don't even like Runaway Bride all that much, you know I'm a Pretty Woman sort of man. Mystic Pizza. Early Julia Roberts--honestly, it's like maybe you don't know me at all.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 07:22 pm (UTC)[He holds up thumb and forefinger to demonstrate.]
This long. And come off it, you'll still stop and watch if they're showing it, so don't act like you're using your time judiciously. I promise, an hour and a half, no more.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 08:23 pm (UTC)[He pinches at the bridge of his nose with a huge sigh.]
Will you leave off of me reading if I agree to this one single book.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 08:30 pm (UTC)[He raises his hand.]
I give my word of honor.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 08:58 pm (UTC)I can't believe I'm saying this, but-- [A resigned sigh!] Oh, fine, yeah, whatever, get me a copy of the bloody book and I'll read it. Only so that you shut up and keep your lists and your talking animals to yourself.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 09:03 pm (UTC)Brilliant. Might actually have a copy in my room - you're going to love it, I'm sure of that. I can go and get it now -
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Date: 2013-05-13 10:10 pm (UTC)[He sits up, hastily, all but jumping to his feet to grab George's arm--]
No, that's-- that's all right. I wouldn't start on it now anyways, I've-- [thinking quickly--!] --because we-- we're planning Annie's party now. Don't tell me you're trying t' get out of that!
no subject
Date: 2013-05-13 11:01 pm (UTC)At least I'm a bit more subtle than you avoiding this topic.
[But still - ]
Well, that's a partial guest list, at least. Any suggestions on what we should do? Movies? Cluedo? [A moment later - ] No, if we're inviting ghosts, that'd set them off, wouldn't it.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 12:41 am (UTC)But, right, if he's going to avoid the topic of books, he has to keep the conversation going--]
Sorry-- I thought this was Annie's party, but clearly you're planning a party for a seven-year-old. Do people actually plan activities for parties? I thought you just sort of put out crisps and cakes and little pizzas and things and said, hey, it's a party, and everyone-- you know-- mingled.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 02:01 am (UTC)[But that's said mostly to save face, because, yeah, that's generally what parties consist of. George never really was much of one for throwing parties; he was more the one attending. Or...not attending, as the case might have been. But not attending for a good cause, without question.
(The "good cause" was, generally speaking, the Doctor Who Christmas special.)]
But if parties are so straightforward, then it seems like we don't have to plan at all. And we can get back to talking about literature.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 05:59 am (UTC)[Mitchell sits up again, sharply, and oh my God, that is exactly the turn that this conversation should not take, didn't he just escape that conversation]
Nooo, no, you know-- I think you're right, I think planning is an excellent idea. Cluedo! We just have t' take care to invite the goth-y ghosts, the ones who like talking about their gory details, and, uh-- well, there's wink murder, and the one with the clues on the cards on your forehead, blind man's bluff--
no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 03:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-14 03:51 pm (UTC)It's not death-related, it's not as if we're making little grave cakes or anything morbid like that-- anyway, most ghosts aren't so sensitive about it, it's just a fact of life for them. Er, unlife. Whatever.
Anyway, we are limited in our options, we only own Cluedo. And Monopoly, but you know my feelings on Monopoly.
fuck monopoly
Date: 2013-05-14 03:58 pm (UTC)Monopoly is not to blame for your inability to plan financially, you know.
I put that in there just for you c:
From:I knew it
From:someday we'll play monopoly and you'll have a good time
From:Girl I don't like spending money in REAL LIFE on REAL THINGS why would I do it for fun
From:because it isn't real money and at the end everyone throws it in the air and cheers like it's 1999!
From:I hated 1999
From:you are such a downer.......
From:I hate downers
From:I hate you.
From:You're the only thing I love
From:.......awwwww well okay :>
From::>
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