(no subject)

[wunderkind]

STUFF GOES IN HERE

Comments

[jurisimpudent]

[And Edgeworth shakes his head.]

No.

[doggedly]

[He nods, absently. Right.]

Used for decoration? And only decoration, not like-- y'know, food, or anything.

[jurisimpudent]

[He shakes his head at once.]

No.

[doggedly]

[He's beginning to lose a bit of patience with the game, but at the same time, his determination to win at it outweighs that--at least for now--]

So, used for food?

[jurisimpudent]

[A nod of confirmation.]

That's correct.

[doggedly]

[He taps his foot against the floor, considering.]

Usually cooked?

[jurisimpudent]

[Edgeworth nods encouragingly.]

Almost always. It can theoretically be eaten raw, but rarely is.

[doggedly]

[Well, that doesn't actually... help. Seeing as Sirius hasn't cooked a meal in his life. He squints, considering.]

Is it green?

[jurisimpudent]

On the outside.

[doggedly]

[At that, he stares over at Edgeworth, suspiciously.]

What.

[jurisimpudent]

[Edgeworth looks back.]

What do you mean, what. It's green on the outside. The inside isn't green. Honestly.

[doggedly]

[He snorts.]

Really! Thank you. And what the hell is like that, that's what. You're not cheating at this, are you? If the answer is some riddle, that counts as bloody cheating--

[jurisimpudent]

Cheating - A vegetable that's green on the outside but white on the inside. That's not precisely ambiguous. Cheating - I do beg your pardon!

[doggedly]

[He scoffs, disgusted.]

Well, it might have been! Half the time these answers are just--idiotic riddles--

Look, you don't need to get so shirty about it, all right, if it's not cheating and it's not a riddle then you've nothing to worry about, yeah? Calm down. I can't think of a bloody vegetable like that, but I'll take your word for it.

[jurisimpudent]

Well -

[He deflates a little bit, because, yes, he shouldn't get worked up. That much is true. Still - ]

It's - I just want to establish that I am not a person who cheats. In any case. I was thinking of courgettes.

[doggedly]

Courgettes?

[He could go on, harp on Edgeworth's extreme irritability and quick temper, really take the piss out of him for it, but that word distracts him.]

What the hell is a courgette? Isn't that a type of car?

[jurisimpudent]

[And Edgeworth, in turn, is distracted by that confusion.]

No, it's...a zucchini - but that's the American...word, I think - But you've heard of zucchini.

[doggedly]

[Has... he? Feeling a little foolish now, Sirius shrugs, a slight scowl on his face--but more directed inward than anything else.]

I don't hang around markets and kitchens very much.

[jurisimpudent]

That's -

[But Edgeworth looks over to see Sirius' mulish expression and realizes - perhaps he ought not belabour the strangeness of it. It's clear enough Sirius is feeling self-conscious about it; Edgeworth oughtn't add to that.]

Understandable. Well, they're...rather tasty. Even I can cook them.

[He adds, keener on making this a referendum on his own shortcomings than on Sirius':]

And I'm quite a bad cook.

[doggedly]

[Despite himself, he's mollified by that admission--at least slightly. Maybe it's thanks to how bloody tired he is, too worn out to really argue very much. Maybe it's something else, but he's not going to waste time trying to put names to things that don't actually matter.

Instead, he rubs his wrist at his forehead, with something of a wry little smile.]

Yeah, totally understandable.

[Not really. Not from what he knows of Edgeworth's life. Still...]

How bad is 'quite bad'?

[jurisimpudent]

[He gives a little half-shrug, a self-deprecating smile.]

The only thing that keeps my diet from being predominantly charcoal are institutionally cooked meals.

Quite bad.

[doggedly]

[He snorts, quietly, despite himself, despite any previous irritation. If there's one way to get into Sirius' good graces, it's the ability to make fun of yourself.]

Pathetic.

[Which is rich, coming from someone as rich as him, someone that's never so much as made a sandwich for himself.]

Ought to get a house elf. It's an investment.

[jurisimpudent]

[A response of I find house-elves and their conditions horrifying, and would never underwrite a system that seems to me quasi-slavery is the wrong one in this situation. Edgeworth knows that, and so he swallows it, because that would tear to shreds that strange, sad, tenuous sort of harmony between them. So, instead:]

Well. I don't precisely have a great deal to invest.

[doggedly]

What, and you don't think you'll see some reward for-- this?

[He waves his cigarette towards the door, indicating everything that's gone on.]

Once they work it out, they won't know how to thank you, and all you had to do was cave in the ceiling on some ancient ugly building.

[jurisimpudent]

[Edgeworth looks over, frowning slightly. This doesn't have the self-flagellating misery of before; he says it like it's self-evident.]

Reward? I wouldn't accept a reward.