Alternating between the Antiques Roadshow and Secret Diary of a Call Girl doesn't actually count as intellectual, y'know. Not even if you're wearing glasses as you watch.
[It's not even a werewolf thing, this lack of understanding. This is a George thing, and a not-being-dead thing--but moreover, a George thing. George, who likes quiet and rooms without mugs of tea everywhere (which he has also complained about, often, usually in hissed whispers when Annie isn't around, which is a nice gesture even if it's still a complaint).
So, fine, Mitchell sighs.]
Look, I'll try t' be around more so she's got someone else t' talk to--I've just been dealin' with a lot of shit lately--but it won't matter. She'll still talk at you as you're reading, that's just... who she is.
[But there's no denying that - but he watched it purely because of Billie Piper and her considerable acting talents, and the subject matter and perhaps the occasional titillating scene was unnecessary - incidental - unwelcome, even, not like he was doing it for a wank - and - right - ]
And it would be good if you were around more, and thank you very much for committing to being around more, it is, I should say, about time. [A stiff nod, but then he feels like he has add - ] But just because...you should be around more. If Annie wants to talk at me, that's...fine. It's fine. [And he has to finish up with - ] I...do like her. You know.
[The fact that George doesn't finish his protest of not actually having watched Secret Diary of a Call Girl is not lost on Mitchell, who was giving him a sceptical sort of look. Really.
But all right, he'll give George that one. He's merciful, sometimes, for the right people.]
D'you try and guilt me because you've got too much guilt, and you've got to, sort of, spread it around? I just want to understand the process-- and while you're at it, do you actually like Annie, because you're protesting and stammering a great deal on that point.
No, Mitchell, I was lying. Well done. Well spotted. You must have done some walking about with Sherlock Holmes with those skills of deduction, haven't you done. Yes, I like her, when is the last time I pretended to like someone I didn't like.
[He shoots Mitchell a Look, because really. But then he thinks about it and that Look changes to a Look.]
Anyway, why are you so interested in my feelings on her?
[Defensively, he straightens up from his slouch a bit.]
Because you're going on about how annoyed you are, with her talking, and her interrupting--and you're always whispering in my ear about how she's leavin' out the mugs, and the biscuits--and you know she can't really wash the floors or anything, so don't suggest it anymore-- [Never mind those suggestions are probably more directed at Mitchell--]
And, look, her-- her anniversary is comin' up. That's why. Not the wedding. The-- other one.
[He makes a little face, because big parties are bollocks; good parties are three, four people, sitting around, chatting, eating something he cooked, and then watching an old movie after. That's a good party.]
Tea on every surface. Not a biscuit un-pre-soaked from her obsessive dunking. We can invite some of the other ghosts from around. If there...there are other ghosts around. It can be...Us Day. Ask her to plan it, too. Keep her mind off other things.
[He wrinkles his nose a little. It sounds a little bit...weak, now that he's put it out there.]
[He blinks a few times, surprised that George has even suggested this.]
A party.
[A party. George is suggesting a party, which, all right, while his plans are sort of weirdly adorable and thoughtful, it's also a stretch for George, who doesn't really like guests, or dirt on the carpets (which really this won't be a problem, right, if they're ghosts), or biscuits not on plates--
The point is to give her something to plan and think about so that she's not brooding over...the other thing. We are not going to sacrifice that very important part of this plan for your - bizarre fetish for surprises.
I haven't got a bizarre fetish--it's a very normal thing, planning surprises for people, especially surprise parties--the only bizarre thing is being anti-surprise-- ah, George, come on, it'd be brilliant! She'd have no idea it was coming, we could-- rearrange all the furniture and hide behind it--
[He sits forward, ready to draw George into this planning--so, no, either he wasn't listening to the bit about Annie planning the party or, more likely, he's excited about this and is not going to let Annie have all the fun of planning the party when they could do it themselves.]
If I got her out of the house for an afternoon, could you do a cake? I s'ppose she won't be eating it, so it's just got to look good-- you can manage that, yeah? Or we could just get one from a shop--
[George's voice rises perhaps just a touch in pitch - but the thought, the mere thought, is an outrage. A cake from a shop. A cake from a shop is fine if you're...No, a cake from a shop is never fine. Ever.]
They look terrible and they taste worse. And even if she's not going to be eating it, we are, so there's no point in it being shit. I'll make something...lemony, something like that, really strong taste. Maybe she can do the...thing.
[And even though he's not so keen on the surprises, or this party (his idea to begin with), he is keen on the possibility of testing out that new recipe for lemon curd - right, use that between each of the layers of the cake in place of icing - candied lemons on top? - might do it up like a cup of tea...no, she'd just go on about that - ]
Right, anyway - Nina would be coming too, so she'd be having it as well. Who else?
[He listens to that protest and the subsequent reasoning that follows, solemn and interested, with a few choice nods here and there--yeah, yeah, what George is saying makes sense, yeah, good cake--and there is maybe only the hint of a smile on his face. If you want George to do some cooking and/or baking, you only need to suggest take away or cakes from a shop or I'll bet no one could recreate that meal, and then he gets offended and indignant and determined and the next thing you know, there are steaks and shepherd's pies and tarts cooling on the windowsill. Which, even if you don't have to eat, is not really a bad situation.]
The thing. You know, it's a wonder you don't go into public speaking, marvelously articulate as you are-- [But he points at George, triumphant and pleased, and offers a congratulations (of a sort):] But lemon. Yes. Good idea. And we'll need some food as well, think you can take on that--and beer--
Er, and guests--so, there's me and you and Annie, obviously. Nina, for you. Er... not Gilbert, obviously, he's gone on, and he would have brought the party down anyways, his weird music-- oh, there's a ghost down the street! Hangs around the alley behind that Indian place. Have you seen her yet, she's blonde, wears this pink jumper--
[He holds his hands up in front of his chest to demonstrate the enormous distinguishing features that can be found there. And then he remembers, right, he is dating, and he is being the best boyfriend to his girlfriend, absolute number one boyfriend, which means being right in deed and thought even when just talking to your mate, and that means he panics and jabs his hands about six inches upwards to point at his throat with both fingers and provides another better distinguishing feature - ]
Necklace. The...the...necklace.
[Good save, George.]
But do you think Annie will like her? She gets weird sometimes, about women with, you know. Necklaces. A little jealous, I think.
[But Mitchell is really only staring right now. He'd started to nod at the initial gesture because, yes, distinguishing features... and then that nod sort of slowed as George's hands moved up because no, that is not how those work, and then now there's--]
Necklace. The necklace. Of all the words t' come up with, you go for necklace.
[He keeps up his sceptical I-don't-really-believe-you look for a few beats.]
No. Yeah. 'Course you don't. You, Nina, serious. Right.
[Another beat. Conversationally:] So do you really think Annie would get jealous of pink-sweater-ghost-who-has-fantastic-tits-that-you-are-not-noticing? Because that's the only other local and more or less friendly ghost I can think of, all tits-you-are-not-noticing aside. But if the tits-you-are-not-noticing are going to come between Annie and her happiness--or you and your serious girlfriend--then perhaps we'd better not invite them to the party after all.
This is not about me! This is about Annie! I mean, you've seen how she gets. She was weird about that girl Kirsty, Hugh's girlfriend, and that Janey Harris - always talking about...
[Wait. Waaait. Something just occurs to him, and he turns to Mitchell, speaking slowly like he's deducing and then delivering some great revelation.]
You know what, Mitchell, I think it's not actually about the other girls' appearances at all. I think she gets like that because she's jealous of them dating the men she likes. [He widens his eyes a little bit, a can-you-believe-what-I've-just-figured-out expression.] And that's why she's fine around Nina!
[And once again, Mitchell is left staring at George. Just-- staring. Slowly, faintly, he shakes his head.]
Nothing gets by you, does it. You are just too clever for the world, there's a problem, and you look at it, and you just-- work it out, just like that. Seriously. You're secretly a spy, right, just crackin' codes, solvin' the mysteries of the female mind--
[He's being overdramatic, of course, but to have one's forehead flicked like that - in one's moment of semi-triumph - why, that's too great an indignity to bear!]
Are you completely idiotic, or are you just really good at pretending? Of course that's why, that's women, George, and that's also incredibly shallow of you t' observe it like that. You know it, but you don't say it.
Honestly, how you've gotten this far in your life without someone takin' it upon themselves to-- castrate you or something-- you'd better watch yourself with Nina, she'll do it--
[He sinks back onto the sofa with a sigh. George George George what will he do with you.]
Don't ever say that around Annie. Especially the bit about Janey Harris, she will go absolutely mental and spaz out and completely obliterate the house with that poltergeist thing she can do.
And we won't invite pink jumper tits ghost, so Annie won't be so-o-o jealous and heartbroken over you, and you won't get dumped by Nina for staring at any jiggly necklaces. All right?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
carisma_sensei
no subject
Date: 2013-05-07 06:50 pm (UTC)[It's not even a werewolf thing, this lack of understanding. This is a George thing, and a not-being-dead thing--but moreover, a George thing. George, who likes quiet and rooms without mugs of tea everywhere (which he has also complained about, often, usually in hissed whispers when Annie isn't around, which is a nice gesture even if it's still a complaint).
So, fine, Mitchell sighs.]
Look, I'll try t' be around more so she's got someone else t' talk to--I've just been dealin' with a lot of shit lately--but it won't matter. She'll still talk at you as you're reading, that's just... who she is.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-07 07:50 pm (UTC)[But there's no denying that - but he watched it purely because of Billie Piper and her considerable acting talents, and the subject matter and perhaps the occasional titillating scene was unnecessary - incidental - unwelcome, even, not like he was doing it for a wank - and - right - ]
And it would be good if you were around more, and thank you very much for committing to being around more, it is, I should say, about time. [A stiff nod, but then he feels like he has add - ] But just because...you should be around more. If Annie wants to talk at me, that's...fine. It's fine. [And he has to finish up with - ] I...do like her. You know.
I would kill for you to app George. I would actually kill. your perfection cannot be wasted.
Date: 2013-05-07 08:41 pm (UTC)But all right, he'll give George that one. He's merciful, sometimes, for the right people.]
D'you try and guilt me because you've got too much guilt, and you've got to, sort of, spread it around? I just want to understand the process-- and while you're at it, do you actually like Annie, because you're protesting and stammering a great deal on that point.
Yes but WHOM would you kill
Date: 2013-05-07 08:51 pm (UTC)[He shoots Mitchell a Look, because really. But then he thinks about it and that Look changes to a Look.]
Anyway, why are you so interested in my feelings on her?
anyone you wanted.
Date: 2013-05-07 09:52 pm (UTC)Because you're going on about how annoyed you are, with her talking, and her interrupting--and you're always whispering in my ear about how she's leavin' out the mugs, and the biscuits--and you know she can't really wash the floors or anything, so don't suggest it anymore-- [Never mind those suggestions are probably more directed at Mitchell--]
And, look, her-- her anniversary is comin' up. That's why. Not the wedding. The-- other one.
Let's just say that I BELIEBE we can work something out
Date: 2013-05-07 10:04 pm (UTC)[He hesitates a moment, then says, thoughtfully - ]
But that also means...it's close to the anniversary of us moving in, isn't it.
ok but Fawn Liebowitz already died in a kiln explosion
Date: 2013-05-08 12:41 am (UTC)Ye-ah. And?
goddamn dickinson girls
Date: 2013-05-08 12:54 am (UTC)[He makes a little face, because big parties are bollocks; good parties are three, four people, sitting around, chatting, eating something he cooked, and then watching an old movie after. That's a good party.]
Tea on every surface. Not a biscuit un-pre-soaked from her obsessive dunking. We can invite some of the other ghosts from around. If there...there are other ghosts around. It can be...Us Day. Ask her to plan it, too. Keep her mind off other things.
[He wrinkles his nose a little. It sounds a little bit...weak, now that he's put it out there.]
w/e toga
Date: 2013-05-08 02:21 am (UTC)A party.
[A party. George is suggesting a party, which, all right, while his plans are sort of weirdly adorable and thoughtful, it's also a stretch for George, who doesn't really like guests, or dirt on the carpets (which really this won't be a problem, right, if they're ghosts), or biscuits not on plates--
Slowly, he begins to grin.]
Do you actually mean that.
It fosters togatherness
Date: 2013-05-08 02:28 am (UTC)[He gives a bit of a sigh, and grumbles on:]
Anyway, I don't much care for sharing our space, but I like Annie being...unhappy even less. So - [A windy sigh - ] Yes! Let's have an...Annie-party.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-08 03:09 am (UTC)[He is definitely grinning at George.]
All right. Yeah. An Annie-party-y-- hey! [He sits up, inspired.] It should be a surprise!
no subject
Date: 2013-05-08 03:11 am (UTC)[He is definitely frowning at Mitchell.]
The point is to give her something to plan and think about so that she's not brooding over...the other thing. We are not going to sacrifice that very important part of this plan for your - bizarre fetish for surprises.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-08 02:16 pm (UTC)[He sits forward, ready to draw George into this planning--so, no, either he wasn't listening to the bit about Annie planning the party or, more likely, he's excited about this and is not going to let Annie have all the fun of planning the party when they could do it themselves.]
If I got her out of the house for an afternoon, could you do a cake? I s'ppose she won't be eating it, so it's just got to look good-- you can manage that, yeah? Or we could just get one from a shop--
no subject
Date: 2013-05-08 02:26 pm (UTC)[George's voice rises perhaps just a touch in pitch - but the thought, the mere thought, is an outrage. A cake from a shop. A cake from a shop is fine if you're...No, a cake from a shop is never fine. Ever.]
They look terrible and they taste worse. And even if she's not going to be eating it, we are, so there's no point in it being shit. I'll make something...lemony, something like that, really strong taste. Maybe she can do the...thing.
[And even though he's not so keen on the surprises, or this party (his idea to begin with), he is keen on the possibility of testing out that new recipe for lemon curd - right, use that between each of the layers of the cake in place of icing - candied lemons on top? - might do it up like a cup of tea...no, she'd just go on about that - ]
Right, anyway - Nina would be coming too, so she'd be having it as well. Who else?
no subject
Date: 2013-05-08 04:58 pm (UTC)The thing. You know, it's a wonder you don't go into public speaking, marvelously articulate as you are-- [But he points at George, triumphant and pleased, and offers a congratulations (of a sort):] But lemon. Yes. Good idea. And we'll need some food as well, think you can take on that--and beer--
Er, and guests--so, there's me and you and Annie, obviously. Nina, for you. Er... not Gilbert, obviously, he's gone on, and he would have brought the party down anyways, his weird music-- oh, there's a ghost down the street! Hangs around the alley behind that Indian place. Have you seen her yet, she's blonde, wears this pink jumper--
no subject
Date: 2013-05-08 05:03 pm (UTC)[He holds his hands up in front of his chest to demonstrate the enormous distinguishing features that can be found there. And then he remembers, right, he is dating, and he is being the best boyfriend to his girlfriend, absolute number one boyfriend, which means being right in deed and thought even when just talking to your mate, and that means he panics and jabs his hands about six inches upwards to point at his throat with both fingers and provides another better distinguishing feature - ]
Necklace. The...the...necklace.
[Good save, George.]
But do you think Annie will like her? She gets weird sometimes, about women with, you know. Necklaces. A little jealous, I think.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-08 05:38 pm (UTC)Necklace. The necklace. Of all the words t' come up with, you go for necklace.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-08 05:45 pm (UTC)[That's the prim voice of someone who once thought about auditing a women's studies course at university - ]
And second, I am a man committed to my very serious girlfriend, so I don't even notice that sort of thing any longer, all right?
sdfsdfwer Hope I am going to pee you are too good at this
Date: 2013-05-08 06:39 pm (UTC)No. Yeah. 'Course you don't. You, Nina, serious. Right.
[Another beat. Conversationally:] So do you really think Annie would get jealous of pink-sweater-ghost-who-has-fantastic-tits-that-you-are-not-noticing? Because that's the only other local and more or less friendly ghost I can think of, all tits-you-are-not-noticing aside. But if the tits-you-are-not-noticing are going to come between Annie and her happiness--or you and your serious girlfriend--then perhaps we'd better not invite them to the party after all.
Or the ghost herself.
NO YOU ARE holy shit your voice for Mitchell is PERFECT
Date: 2013-05-08 06:57 pm (UTC)[He gasps that, perfectly well stung.]
This is not about me! This is about Annie! I mean, you've seen how she gets. She was weird about that girl Kirsty, Hugh's girlfriend, and that Janey Harris - always talking about...
[Wait. Waaait. Something just occurs to him, and he turns to Mitchell, speaking slowly like he's deducing and then delivering some great revelation.]
You know what, Mitchell, I think it's not actually about the other girls' appearances at all. I think she gets like that because she's jealous of them dating the men she likes. [He widens his eyes a little bit, a can-you-believe-what-I've-just-figured-out expression.] And that's why she's fine around Nina!
shut upppp shut up just play with me 4ever you are too perfect! also omg jumper not sweater redact!!
Date: 2013-05-08 08:26 pm (UTC)Nothing gets by you, does it. You are just too clever for the world, there's a problem, and you look at it, and you just-- work it out, just like that. Seriously. You're secretly a spy, right, just crackin' codes, solvin' the mysteries of the female mind--
oh my god QUITTING THIS THREAD (ps british english is hard)
Date: 2013-05-08 08:29 pm (UTC)Yeah...Yeah. Pretty good, isn't it.
DON'T QUIT STAY WITH ME FOREVER PLEASE
Date: 2013-05-09 03:08 pm (UTC)And then he heaves himself to his feet, and leans across the space between them to flick George's forehead.]
Only because you said please
Date: 2013-05-09 03:52 pm (UTC)[He's being overdramatic, of course, but to have one's forehead flicked like that - in one's moment of semi-triumph - why, that's too great an indignity to bear!]
Mitchell, what was that for -
:> prepares chains for my radiator
Date: 2013-05-09 06:18 pm (UTC)Honestly, how you've gotten this far in your life without someone takin' it upon themselves to-- castrate you or something-- you'd better watch yourself with Nina, she'll do it--
[He sinks back onto the sofa with a sigh. George George George what will he do with you.]
Don't ever say that around Annie. Especially the bit about Janey Harris, she will go absolutely mental and spaz out and completely obliterate the house with that poltergeist thing she can do.
And we won't invite pink jumper tits ghost, so Annie won't be so-o-o jealous and heartbroken over you, and you won't get dumped by Nina for staring at any jiggly necklaces. All right?
Prepare your tea as well
From:did i tell you i have a keurig now so i can prepare all sorts of things
From:Ummmmm NO YOU DID NOT do you have little tea-pods
From:only coffee of course but I would get teapods for you, meine kleine teapod
From:AWWWWWW I will make the hell out of those teapods and drink them staring at you lovingly
From:that's right you will!!!
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