[He makes a dismissive noise, waving him off. It's a good point, which means you kill it before it has the chance to properly be a good point.]
Yeah, but that's for normal things, like drinking from jars and trying different kinds of wine and eating from street vendors. This is a book. And unlike you, George, I was alive when those sorts of books were being written. That book and I, we're nearly contemporaries, only I've evolved, and that book-- [That book, nearly disgusted--] --hasn't.
[He raises his voice to be heard over the end of Mitchell's second repetition of that book.]
First, this is a new translation, so that's a sort of evolution, so there's that theory gone, isn't that. Second, I just used the word timeless about one minute ago. [Third is the fact that the book predates Mitchell by seventy years or so, but that won't help his argument at all, and he still - even after all this time - feels a touch uncomfortable talking so matter-of-factly about his friend being something other than a human being, so he goes for another third instead - and realizes this third is a winning point.] And third, if we accept that argument, then I suppose the two of us should spend our afternoon rounding up all the copies of The Maltese Falcon we can find and melting them down, shouldn't we, seeing as it hasn't evolved either.
[Oh, Mitchell has got arguments for all of those points. Every last one of those points, he could argue, and he's actually just in the process of sitting forward, one finger raised, ready to put the finest of barristers to shame, that's how well he's going to argue about that Russian brick of shit in George's hand, and then--]
Ohhh.
[He sinks back, stung by that, his mouth open a little.]
Oh, George, you don't-- that's different. That is not-- that is not even the same and you know it.
Oh, no, no, this is what you've commanded, Mitchell, and we must stick to it. So that's Bogart burned, right, non-evolving as he is, right, and I guess the Marx Brothers have got to go - Chaplin - Casablanca, right, no more tipped chairs -
[And then George lifts two smug eyebrows and then gives his book a little shake.]
Or we can possibly spend a little more time thinking and decide that, classics: maybe we should give them a chance.
[The list gets worse, and worse--or maybe it's the Marx Brothers, maybe that's the worst, and the rest sort of follow, like some hollow awful echo. He stares bleakly at George--and then makes a huge disgusted choking sigh, and shoves his hand over his eyes. The shake of that book is like a death rattle. The end of the argument.]
I think you've missed your calling. I take back everything I've ever said about you, mate-- you shouldn't be workin' in a school somewhere, they'd sack you for cruel and unusual punishment. You should be in the Inquisition.
[And more mournfully:] Why is it always the classics.
'The classics: maybe we should give them a chance' is the worst course summary I've ever heard. Are you educating Nina, is that what you're doing with her? And here I thought it was more--
[Gestures, here, and he bites at his lip, so into this, this is sex, which George is--apparently--not having, given that he's handing out massive books--]
--animal sex. Or it ought t' be. Get in there, George! She's not lookin' for Heart of a Dog, eh, she's lookin' for--
[He nearly bellows that one, nearly throws his book to shut Mitchell up before he gets that one out - ]
...Say it, don't say anything more, all right, point taken, point well taken, quite enough, thank you.
[The embarrassment lasts a minute, but then is replaced with just a hint of self-satisfaction.]
Besides which, there's a bit of that going on. [And he continues, importantly:] I believe that one can have both a sexual and an intellectual connection. And Nina and I have both.
[Instinctively, he raises his hands to catch the book, but George honors his code and does not chuck it.
And George is doing quite all right--sex, congratulations, yes, he grins, and he'd offer his congratulations except-- then-- George careens into Classic George territory, and he slumps back with a sigh.]
And you were doing so well. D'you talk like this to her, or do those lines actually work on her.
[He says it under his breath. Sort of. And, all right, yes, if pressed he would admit: he is happy for George, really, he is. George deserves happiness and as normal a life as he can manage, a girlfriend and as regular-or-animalistic sex life as he prefers to have.
He's still going to take the piss out of George, but let it be known that, beneath all of it, Mitchell is happy for his friend.]
You'll want to hang on to this one, George my lad. It's so rare t' find a girl that likes philosophies of romance and sex instead of the actual thing.
[And that bit of wisdom dispensed, Mitchell picks up whatever magazine is lying nearby and begins to read it. Or look at it, at least. Because he's won.]
Well - Hey, put - put that magazine down, we are having a conversation -
[He points to the magazine and then points to the table and points to the magazine and points to the table. Turgenev lies beside him, forgotten.]
And a serious conversation, all right, because I want to clear up that she likes philosophies as well as the real thing - or she would, you know, if I expressed them to her - And there are girls who like an intellectual, all right, you just don't know because they talk to me instead of you -
[Making-love-on-the-regular George is also an arrogant George. That cannot be denied.]
[Safely hidden behind the magazine, Mitchell does not see that stern pointing. Even if he had seen it, it wouldn't have worked on him, because he is not actually a disobedient puppy.
Instead, he answers George, still from behind the magazine (that he isn't actually reading, of course, but no need to give that one out), nearly talking over him for the last bit of that--]
And you're welcome to them! I am not interested--
[Not interested in intellectuals, but really, better not to be interested in anyone, right, because that always ends-- you know what, no, done with that thought, that's where that thought ends.]
--nor will I be interested. I just want t' clear this up: when you say Nina likes philosophies, and then you add on that bit about how she, y'know, would like your philosophies if you expressed them to her-- does that mean that you haven't, actually, expressed them to her.
[Is that bad? Bloody hell, confessing it like that, it sounds sort of bad. Sort of...weak. Should he have been expressing philosophies? Did Mitchell whip out some philosophy or another before he...well.]
But I don't have to.
[He pulls himself up, adopting a lofty tone.]
Nina and I are in harmony. Intellectually, philosophically - [And loftiness gives way to a hint of smugness - ] And sexually.
[As George goes on, Mitchell slowly lets the magazine drop, so he can just see him over the top of it, a little more with each item on that list. By the end, he's staring at George, dryly, and he lets the silence drag on a little.
A beat longer; then a breath.]
How long had it been. Between Nina and your last hook-up, I mean, how long of a time had it been?
You're sure it wasn't the romantic philosophies drivin' them off?
[...all right, so that was a bit of a low blow. George's nervous trailing-off voice inspires some small tiny scrap of remorse in Mitchell--there's teasing him and then there's shaming him, right, and if he's crossed the line he can blame a whole host of things for that infraction, but in the end the only proper response is to relent.]
Don't pout, all right, it was a joke. Take my advice. If you put together a reading list for her, do-- poetry. And romances, preferably ones with muscley werewolf lovers, and-- [He waves the magazine, dismissively.] --girl's shit, y'know. Save the Russian literature for when she rolls over and asks you what you're reading, and then you can tell her all about it, and she'll be all, drowsy, and impressed with your scholarly tendencies.
[A beat. He looks over at the book and winces a little.]
Maybe-- work on finding a sexier Russian novel. It can't hurt.
No, Mitchell, I don't think it was the romantic philosophies driving them off.
[And he does pout - no, not "pout," pouting sounds stupid, he gives a look of wounded outrage, that's better - because Mitchell knows damn well what was driving them off, and it was George's own restraint so that he didn't hurt them. And they could see how that turned out, couldn't they. But...all right, also that he tended to have a little bit of a nervous reaction to being in the...vicinity...All right, even before that he didn't really have any luck -
Bollocks.
He pushes out his lower lip in a not-pout but doesn't get worked up into real anger.]
And I'm not going to give her books about muscley werewolf lovers. That's dishonest, first off, and second it'll plant...wrong ideas. Possibly. About...Well, let's just say that the fictional depiction of werewolves is off. Way, way off.
[That is a pout, but considering the hysterics to which George can get himself worked up to, a pout is really not all that bad. Mitchell grins a little, settling down behind his magazine again.]
Oh, so you're the one in the relationship that reads the romance novels. Because all that I get from that is that you've actually sat down and read muscley werewolf lover protagonist books. Tryin' t' see how you measure up? Ah, but don't get discouraged by the cover illustrations, there's like one bloke that poses for those, it's all vanity muscles--
[His voice (normally a masculine baritone that ladies are quite impressed with, thank you very much) perhaps gets a touch higher-pitched in outrage. A touch.]
No! No, it - you - you - I - I - I - I was examining, Mitchell, the depiction of werewolves in literature in order to - to - to see how inaccurate it is - and hugely inaccurate, that's the answer, don't - don't talk about this like I went out looking for romance novels so I could have - have a wank, or - or - Look, l...et's - what did you need to say about Annie!
[He smirks at the inside of his magazine--it's always something of a success when you get George's voice to leap up into the stratosphere like that. Annie will owe him a fiver for this (metaphorically, as she hasn't actually got any money). Undeterred by the attempt at the subject change, he asks, casually (without missing a beat):]
Mmh. Yeah. Hey, George, there's a crossword in here. The clue is 'most common adjective used t' describe werewolf muscles in romance novels'--you're the expert here, would you say that's rippling or glistening. Sweaty, maybe, that might fit in there better--
[His voice perhaps gets maybe a touch higher. Oh, it's still masculine - very masculine - but...also a bit screechy.]
I know that's not the clue because the first thing you look at to solve a crossword, the very first thing, Mitchell, is the number of letters, and you just made suggestions that varied in the number of letters -
Eight letters. Begins with r, ends in g, there's a double p in the middle there... rippling? Do we think it's rippling? 'His rippling lupine muscles', does that one sound like a quote? I'd ask Nina, but-- she wouldn't know--
No, Mitchell, of course she wouldn't, because I'm not about to get shirtless in front of her while lupine, am I! And how about this for a quote for you, how about - sod off, the werewolf said, with rippling lupine annoyance, how does that do -
I don't think annoyance can ripple, can it--and that's not the clue, if you're writing your own crossword, that's one thing, but this one is clear: eight letters. Begins in r, double p in the middle--
[He lowers his magazine again to smirk at George.]
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carisma_sensei
no subject
Date: 2013-05-05 09:56 pm (UTC)Yeah, but that's for normal things, like drinking from jars and trying different kinds of wine and eating from street vendors. This is a book. And unlike you, George, I was alive when those sorts of books were being written. That book and I, we're nearly contemporaries, only I've evolved, and that book-- [That book, nearly disgusted--] --hasn't.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-05 10:06 pm (UTC)[He raises his voice to be heard over the end of Mitchell's second repetition of that book.]
First, this is a new translation, so that's a sort of evolution, so there's that theory gone, isn't that. Second, I just used the word timeless about one minute ago. [Third is the fact that the book predates Mitchell by seventy years or so, but that won't help his argument at all, and he still - even after all this time - feels a touch uncomfortable talking so matter-of-factly about his friend being something other than a human being, so he goes for another third instead - and realizes this third is a winning point.] And third, if we accept that argument, then I suppose the two of us should spend our afternoon rounding up all the copies of The Maltese Falcon we can find and melting them down, shouldn't we, seeing as it hasn't evolved either.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-05 10:13 pm (UTC)Ohhh.
[He sinks back, stung by that, his mouth open a little.]
Oh, George, you don't-- that's different. That is not-- that is not even the same and you know it.
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Date: 2013-05-06 01:06 am (UTC)[And then George lifts two smug eyebrows and then gives his book a little shake.]
Or we can possibly spend a little more time thinking and decide that, classics: maybe we should give them a chance.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-06 02:57 am (UTC)I think you've missed your calling. I take back everything I've ever said about you, mate-- you shouldn't be workin' in a school somewhere, they'd sack you for cruel and unusual punishment. You should be in the Inquisition.
[And more mournfully:] Why is it always the classics.
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Date: 2013-05-06 03:04 am (UTC)Wha - I - I'd still be a good teacher! I'd be - [He tries to straighten his shoulders with a touch of dignity.] I'd be very good.
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Date: 2013-05-06 03:15 am (UTC)[Gestures, here, and he bites at his lip, so into this, this is sex, which George is--apparently--not having, given that he's handing out massive books--]
--animal sex. Or it ought t' be. Get in there, George! She's not lookin' for Heart of a Dog, eh, she's lookin' for--
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Date: 2013-05-06 03:23 am (UTC)[He nearly bellows that one, nearly throws his book to shut Mitchell up before he gets that one out - ]
...Say it, don't say anything more, all right, point taken, point well taken, quite enough, thank you.
[The embarrassment lasts a minute, but then is replaced with just a hint of self-satisfaction.]
Besides which, there's a bit of that going on. [And he continues, importantly:] I believe that one can have both a sexual and an intellectual connection. And Nina and I have both.
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Date: 2013-05-06 03:40 am (UTC)And George is doing quite all right--sex, congratulations, yes, he grins, and he'd offer his congratulations except-- then-- George careens into Classic George territory, and he slumps back with a sigh.]
And you were doing so well. D'you talk like this to her, or do those lines actually work on her.
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Date: 2013-05-06 03:49 am (UTC)[Still pompous as anything, though a moment later he adds:]
And yes, for some reason - and I know this is astonishing - I actually am better at wooing her than I am at wooing you.
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Date: 2013-05-06 04:14 am (UTC)[He says it under his breath. Sort of. And, all right, yes, if pressed he would admit: he is happy for George, really, he is. George deserves happiness and as normal a life as he can manage, a girlfriend and as regular-or-animalistic sex life as he prefers to have.
He's still going to take the piss out of George, but let it be known that, beneath all of it, Mitchell is happy for his friend.]
You'll want to hang on to this one, George my lad. It's so rare t' find a girl that likes philosophies of romance and sex instead of the actual thing.
[And that bit of wisdom dispensed, Mitchell picks up whatever magazine is lying nearby and begins to read it. Or look at it, at least. Because he's won.]
no subject
Date: 2013-05-06 04:20 am (UTC)[He points to the magazine and then points to the table and points to the magazine and points to the table. Turgenev lies beside him, forgotten.]
And a serious conversation, all right, because I want to clear up that she likes philosophies as well as the real thing - or she would, you know, if I expressed them to her - And there are girls who like an intellectual, all right, you just don't know because they talk to me instead of you -
[Making-love-on-the-regular George is also an arrogant George. That cannot be denied.]
no subject
Date: 2013-05-06 04:40 am (UTC)Instead, he answers George, still from behind the magazine (that he isn't actually reading, of course, but no need to give that one out), nearly talking over him for the last bit of that--]
And you're welcome to them! I am not interested--
[Not interested in intellectuals, but really, better not to be interested in anyone, right, because that always ends-- you know what, no, done with that thought, that's where that thought ends.]
--nor will I be interested. I just want t' clear this up: when you say Nina likes philosophies, and then you add on that bit about how she, y'know, would like your philosophies if you expressed them to her-- does that mean that you haven't, actually, expressed them to her.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-06 04:47 am (UTC)[Is that bad? Bloody hell, confessing it like that, it sounds sort of bad. Sort of...weak. Should he have been expressing philosophies? Did Mitchell whip out some philosophy or another before he...well.]
But I don't have to.
[He pulls himself up, adopting a lofty tone.]
Nina and I are in harmony. Intellectually, philosophically - [And loftiness gives way to a hint of smugness - ] And sexually.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-06 08:44 am (UTC)A beat longer; then a breath.]
How long had it been. Between Nina and your last hook-up, I mean, how long of a time had it been?
no subject
Date: 2013-05-06 02:08 pm (UTC)It - a - a little while. Before...
[Mitchell knows when "before" was.]
no subject
Date: 2013-05-06 03:10 pm (UTC)[...all right, so that was a bit of a low blow. George's nervous trailing-off voice inspires some small tiny scrap of remorse in Mitchell--there's teasing him and then there's shaming him, right, and if he's crossed the line he can blame a whole host of things for that infraction, but in the end the only proper response is to relent.]
Don't pout, all right, it was a joke. Take my advice. If you put together a reading list for her, do-- poetry. And romances, preferably ones with muscley werewolf lovers, and-- [He waves the magazine, dismissively.] --girl's shit, y'know. Save the Russian literature for when she rolls over and asks you what you're reading, and then you can tell her all about it, and she'll be all, drowsy, and impressed with your scholarly tendencies.
[A beat. He looks over at the book and winces a little.]
Maybe-- work on finding a sexier Russian novel. It can't hurt.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-06 03:18 pm (UTC)[And he does pout - no, not "pout," pouting sounds stupid, he gives a look of wounded outrage, that's better - because Mitchell knows damn well what was driving them off, and it was George's own restraint so that he didn't hurt them. And they could see how that turned out, couldn't they. But...all right, also that he tended to have a little bit of a nervous reaction to being in the...vicinity...All right, even before that he didn't really have any luck -
Bollocks.
He pushes out his lower lip in a not-pout but doesn't get worked up into real anger.]
And I'm not going to give her books about muscley werewolf lovers. That's dishonest, first off, and second it'll plant...wrong ideas. Possibly. About...Well, let's just say that the fictional depiction of werewolves is off. Way, way off.
no subject
Date: 2013-05-06 03:46 pm (UTC)Oh, so you're the one in the relationship that reads the romance novels. Because all that I get from that is that you've actually sat down and read muscley werewolf lover protagonist books. Tryin' t' see how you measure up? Ah, but don't get discouraged by the cover illustrations, there's like one bloke that poses for those, it's all vanity muscles--
no subject
Date: 2013-05-06 03:50 pm (UTC)[His voice (normally a masculine baritone that ladies are quite impressed with, thank you very much) perhaps gets a touch higher-pitched in outrage. A touch.]
No! No, it - you - you - I - I - I - I was examining, Mitchell, the depiction of werewolves in literature in order to - to - to see how inaccurate it is - and hugely inaccurate, that's the answer, don't - don't talk about this like I went out looking for romance novels so I could have - have a wank, or - or - Look, l...et's - what did you need to say about Annie!
no subject
Date: 2013-05-06 04:59 pm (UTC)Mmh. Yeah. Hey, George, there's a crossword in here. The clue is 'most common adjective used t' describe werewolf muscles in romance novels'--you're the expert here, would you say that's rippling or glistening. Sweaty, maybe, that might fit in there better--
no subject
Date: 2013-05-06 10:18 pm (UTC)[His voice perhaps gets maybe a touch higher. Oh, it's still masculine - very masculine - but...also a bit screechy.]
I know that's not the clue because the first thing you look at to solve a crossword, the very first thing, Mitchell, is the number of letters, and you just made suggestions that varied in the number of letters -
no subject
Date: 2013-05-07 12:08 am (UTC)Eight letters. Begins with r, ends in g, there's a double p in the middle there... rippling? Do we think it's rippling? 'His rippling lupine muscles', does that one sound like a quote? I'd ask Nina, but-- she wouldn't know--
no subject
Date: 2013-05-07 04:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-07 05:54 am (UTC)[He lowers his magazine again to smirk at George.]
Can I see your rippling annoyance?
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From:I would kill for you to app George. I would actually kill. your perfection cannot be wasted.
From:Yes but WHOM would you kill
From:anyone you wanted.
From:Let's just say that I BELIEBE we can work something out
From:ok but Fawn Liebowitz already died in a kiln explosion
From:goddamn dickinson girls
From:w/e toga
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From:sdfsdfwer Hope I am going to pee you are too good at this
From:NO YOU ARE holy shit your voice for Mitchell is PERFECT
From:shut upppp shut up just play with me 4ever you are too perfect! also omg jumper not sweater redact!!
From:oh my god QUITTING THIS THREAD (ps british english is hard)
From:DON'T QUIT STAY WITH ME FOREVER PLEASE
From:Only because you said please
From::> prepares chains for my radiator
From:Prepare your tea as well
From:did i tell you i have a keurig now so i can prepare all sorts of things
From:Ummmmm NO YOU DID NOT do you have little tea-pods
From:only coffee of course but I would get teapods for you, meine kleine teapod
From:AWWWWWW I will make the hell out of those teapods and drink them staring at you lovingly
From:that's right you will!!!
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From:I put that in there just for you c:
From:I knew it
From:someday we'll play monopoly and you'll have a good time
From:Girl I don't like spending money in REAL LIFE on REAL THINGS why would I do it for fun
From:because it isn't real money and at the end everyone throws it in the air and cheers like it's 1999!
From:I hated 1999
From:you are such a downer.......
From:I hate downers
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From:You're the only thing I love
From:.......awwwww well okay :>
From::>
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